Published October 27, 2012 by Becca

I got fired from my job this week. Via text. Case in point of why I hated my job so much. I have no idea what I’m going to do next; I was still figuring that out. I’m so thrilled to not have to go back there to work though. Really. So thrilled. But I don’t want to cook any more. So that’s where figuring out what to do next comes in. I’ll update as I figure it out. Get a job to pay the bills is at the top of my list- I’m looking into seasonal retail jobs. That way I’m not caught in anything and it’s something that I have experience with and somewhat enjoy. And hopefully it allows for some flexible time to figure things out/interview as needed. I’m aiming for something slightly more corporate/office related with 9-5 type hours. Maybe related to food still. Or fitness. Though I don’t know how much the fitness world likes hiring fat people.

But I’m 3.2 pounds less at least! According to Weight Watcher’s scale. Which is usually about a pound more than my home scale with clothes and such. But it’s the downward trend that’s important. (But it’s nice to see myself back in the 2-teens.) 28.8 pounds total. This is awesome! I didn’t want to put a lot of pressure on myself to lose a lot of weight during the 8 week challenge, but I’m doing great! Down 7.2 so far. (I was hoping for 8 in the back of my head). And I ate everything I wanted last week too. Cheeseburger, onion rings, milk shake, chicken parm sub, fried calamari (not all in the same day, mind you). And I didn’t really exercise- just on Thursday.

That was in part because up until I got fired, I was super blue. And I didn’t want to work out. Also my back was killing me from work, and it still is, but now I have time to go to the dr. and get it fixed. I went to my 2nd running class Thursday night after missing the previous week because of work. I definitely need to return back to running a few times a week if I want to actually see some benefits. But my back/butt hurt a lot when I was done. A woman I met there told me about this great chiropractor that does more than just alignments that I’m going to check out. They do something called active muscle release or something like that and it helps better work out the tension in the muscle. Which is definitely what I need. And apparently all the major runners go there when they’re in the city and the head doctor worked at the olympics. Those are some credentials!

God I’m never going to have any blog readers with boring entries like these! But I guess it’s more for me. Though conversation would be nice.


Life Update

Published October 16, 2012 by Becca

Oy. So much going on. I’m not sure if I can even cover it all in 1 post. I’ve been very blue this past week or so. My best friend and I had a fight and aren’t speaking anymore since Labor Day. Don’t know if that will ever get patched up. So that’s brings me down to 0 close friends. And I’ve given up on my ex and getting together, so now I really have absolutely no one to talk to. Starting to get kinda lonely. But also getting used to it. No bueno. I joined that running class, so in 10 weeks, it’d be nice if a friend emerged from that. We shall see. I’m keeping an eye out for socializing opportunities, but friendships don’t happen over night, and I’m gun shy, so it’s gonna be even harder for me. Maybe some people just aren’t meant to have friends? But then again I suppose if I were less gun shy, I’d have more friends? It’s too hard. I dunno. I need a new Marissa. But there are only so many Marissas in the world (metaphorically speaking).

And then of course there’s dating.

One day. If I ever have time. Stupid night time job.

Stupid job. I don’t feel like hashing out the awful back story again, but needless to say, I’m starting to wonder if I can find myself a nice 9-5 desk job. Or something. Preferably 9-5. And hopefully it pays more than I currently make (which is very little, so it’s a very low bar to be fair). Maybe. We shall see.

Part of me is very inspired right now with this whole losing weight and getting healthy and I’m wishing I could do something with that now. I’ve been thinking an apparel store for plus-sized women (people?). It’d be great, as a plus-sized person, to be able to find all the bigger sizes in one spot. It’s frustrating never being able to just grab something because one brand’s XL may be just fine for me and another may not even be close. So in my shop, I wouldn’t even carry a certain brand if I found most plus sized girls couldn’t fit into it. And how great would it be for there to be a judgement free place where bigger girls can feel good about being active and fit and healthy?

And not that I’m a designer, but if I could find someone, it’d be great to have a specific athletic line just for plus sized women. Something that really considers making room for junk in the trunk! Lol. And for me, I haven’t found a long sleeved tech shirt I like cause I have chunky arms. I even found a XXL tech shirt at Target and I just couldn’t handle having the arms so damn tight on me. You would never see a built in bra in my tanks either. I’m only a C cup, so I can actually get away with them sometimes (though I haven’t run in one yet), but I think most girls would prefer to choose their support (I know I do), without worrying about the bulk with a shelf bra.

Oh and price point would be well below Lulumon. Personally, I’d like to see it around Target prices (if that’s even possible based on the material). I’m not a fan of paying more than $20-30 for a top, $40 for a sweatshirt, and $30-40 for bottoms.

In other news, I’m down just about 25 pounds now. Isn’t that awesome?! 25 pounds is no small number. And it’s been a slow crawl. I updated the Weigh-in Page. I kinda lost steam over the summer, though I didn’t gain the weight back. I made decent enough choices to be able to maintain basically. Which felt like a success in it’s own right. Losing 100 pounds is hard work, and it’s going to take a decent amount of time, so I like knowing that if I want to take a time out for whatever reason, I can do so without back sliding. That’s so important to me- as much as losing the weight. Not gaining it back. Ever. Well, except pregnancy. And I’d like to have the right tools and mindset to take off baby weight too.

This week has been a little rough. Being blue has kinda zapped my appetite so I haven’t been eating a whole lot the past few days, and then when I am hungry, I’m too lazy to eat properly, so I just eat something weird. Like a whole package of imitation crab with cocktail sauce. Or a bag of popcorn. For dinner. Fruit? Veggies? Not much. Protein? Not much. *Sigh*

Last week I ate randomly as well, but more, and stayed completely within points, and gained 2.2 pounds. THAT was frustrating. I’m hoping it was due to running the half marathon and storing water, or even gaining some muscle. According to my scale, I’m already back down to where I was the week before, and still 4 more days until the weigh in, so hopefully I can lose another pound. Especially since I’m eating so lightly.

I’m working on participating in the WW 8 week challenge. I really don’t want to set a weight goal, because as you can see, even with tracking and staying with in my points, I still gained 2.2 pounds! That’s nuts. So I don’t want to be disappointed by not meeting a time goal. My concrete goal is to track every day for the 8 weeks. I’m 2 1/2 weeks in and haven’t missed a day! Love it. Feel very happy with keeping up with that habit. It will be what gets me to my goal weight in the end (even if some weeks don’t always show success.)

Ok, well I’m up too late and need to get to bed cause I have therapy and work tomorrow.

More updates when something new happens! Haha.

I did it!!!

Published October 13, 2012 by Becca

I’m a lazy blogger.  Almost a week since my half marathon.  Geez.

Well I did it.  I finished my half marathon last week.  Chip time of 3:11.  Garmin time of 3:06 (didn’t include stretch and potty breaks).

I ran most of it.  Walked through the water stations.  And I walked a lot between mile 11-12.  But ran it all the way in.  My mom and step-dad were there at the finish line to cheer me on.

It’s bitter sweet now that it’s over.  I was hoping to come in just under 3 hours.  I was on pace for that up until mile 10, but the last 5k was just difficult.  I was in pain.  My feet killed.  My hips were tight.  My back was tight.  I know I’m 99% likely to improve my time for my next half marathon, so that’s always a plus.  I didn’t give training 100% effort, so it’s a minor miracle I was able to run across the finish line.  I basically did that race on only long runs.

I took a gamble bringing untested gels on the course with me.  I figured I’d be able to just choke them down with lots of water if I really hated them.  But they were mostly a win!  Hooray!  The texture is still borderline nasty.  Ever since my first taste of them, I’ve been struggling to compare them to something, but I can’t.  I’ve never had anything like these in terms of texture.  My first taste was Gu Tri-Berry and I gagged and threw half of it out because I just couldn’t get it down.  So after talking with my therapist a bit about different brands, and just squeezing some packs at Jack Rabbit (NYC running store), I opted to try some PowerBar gels in Orange and Strawberry Banana because when I squeezed the packets, it felt much looser than Gu, so I hoped it would go down more easily.  Both had caffeine, with orange having 2x as much.  Caffeine has been shown to improve performance, so I was keen to try that.  The guy at the store recommended the strawberry banana flavor (good choice!).  I also grabbed some Clif shots in Vanilla and Chocolate because my therapist said they had a bit of a thicker texture.  And finally Gu peanut butter.  Seeing if Gu could redeem itself.

I only needed 3 gels for the race and I opted for both of the PowerBars and the Vanilla Clif Shot.  I started with the PowerBars mostly because I was hesitant about Vanilla flavored gel.  The flavors were good for the PowerAde.  Orange is always easy, and the strawberry banana was actually pretty nice. They were thinner in consistency which was great, but still kinda stuck around in the mouth a bit.  I always need to take these with water I think.  I don’t know if the caffeine made a difference.  Maybe when I get faster I’ll notice.

Now on the other end of the spectrum, the Clif Shot Vanilla was GREAT.  I loved it.  As much as you can love a gel.  It tasted like Vanilla frosting.  Super smooth frosting which is weird, lol.  I still like water to wash these down, but loving the flavor helped me forget about the texture.  I’m hoping the chocolate one tastes like Chocolate frosting.  It might be awhile before I try more gels since I’m not planning to do any more long distances until the spring.

My plan now is to just focus on having fun, and hopefully getting fast.  I’m hoping by the spring I can get my 10k time to about 12:30 min/mile. That’s about 6 months time.  And I hope to be about 30-40 pounds thinner by then as well which will help.  I’m also in a running class that the NYRR club is offering.  It was $105 for 10 classes which is a STEAL in NYC.  The downside is that it’s held on the Upper East Side.  Almost a 90 minute commute from Brooklyn for me.  I’m gonna need to find something else to do in the area to make the trip worth while.  And I can only go to the Met so many times.

The first classes started with running for 10 minutes at about a 12:00 pace, walking for a minute and a half, and running another 10 minutes at the same.  I did pretty good.  I was able to keep up for the most part, though towards the 2nd half, I slowed down to about a 13 min/mile for a bit.  It was comfortably challenging.  So I believe they said the goal is to run a 5k at a 11:00 pace which would be awesome.  So yeah, as you can see, traveling for over an hour for a 20 minute run is not optimal.  But getting to run in Central Park is awesome!!  I’d like to continue runs sometimes, but I’m afraid of getting lost.  I get lost almost every single time I’m in the park.  Not that it’s a huge deal, but it’s annoying.  Especially since it’s dark by 6:30 now.

So I’m up waaaaaayyyyy too late.  I have work in the morning, and I’m doing Yoga before it.  I’m looking at about 4ish hours of sleep.  *Sigh*  Because I took a 4hr nap today.  And it looks like I’ll be napping tomorrow.  Such a cycle.  Gotta break it!

I’ll finish with some pics from my 2 runs this week.

Night time skyline. Gorgeous.

Ran along the Hudson near work this week. Gonna try and run in Manhattan more- I like it!

Great path by the Hudson!






Published October 6, 2012 by Becca

Tomorrow is my half marathon!! I’m eating my pasta for dinner. About to pack up all my stuff and lay out my clothes and head to bed for the early wake up. I can’t believe it’s here! It’s supposed to rain, and while it’s not optimal, I just pray for none to minimal blisters.

Half marathon baby!!!

1 week

Published October 1, 2012 by Becca

Today marks 1 week until my first half marathon. 13.1 miles!! I’m getting nervous. Mostly because I know my training was subpar and I slacked off the past week. Who slacks off 2 weeks before their race?!

I have no idea if there will be consequences for this. I haven’t run in over a week.

I guess the bad news at work took the wind out of my sails. (I didn’t get the promotion I wanted to head pastry chef. Instead, they brought back the old pastry chef that left when I started. Cause he needed a job. So messed up.) That and things with my ex clogging my head.


I know. I was supposed to be moving on from that. But it’s just so hard to just walk away cleanly. We took like a 6 week break and things started up again, and they’ve been mostly good. Our attitudes are different. We’ve been making changes. But he’s still not committing to anything. So I’m still in limbo.

And twice I let texting him ruin my runs last week. Including my long run. I can’t wait until I get my Garmin and I can just leave my phone at home.

That’s my good news at least. My parents are so proud of me for my running and doing the race, they generously offered to get me a GPS watch. I picked out Garmin’s new 10 watch. It’s super basic- how far and how fast. That’s all I really need. And it has an interval timer too which I also wanted. And I got it in pink. It’s perfect! It’s exactly what I need. I think it’s a perfect first watch. And if in a few years I feel like I need something more advanced, well, then that’s still possible. It’s gonna be a few weeks until I get it though because its back ordered. But no rush.

It’ll be nice to use at my running class. I signed up for this class through NYRR that’s only $100 for 10 classes which is a steal in NYC. Lol. It’s to work on my speed. Because that’s my focus for once the race is over. I’d like to do the Brooklyn half next year in the Spring, but I’m not planning on doing anything over a 10k until then. So I’m gonna focus on running for fun and speed only and losing weight to help that.

Speaking of weight, according to my home scale, I’m down to 224.8 today. Which I’m happy I see. I’ve been holding steady in the 225-229 range all summer, so this week I set a goal to see 224 on at least my home scale. (I was 227 this Friday at WW but it was my first week wearing jeans and they were also wet from the rain, so I have high hopes for the next weigh in now that I’ve set the “jean” standard. )

Hopefully this is the week I make my 10%! 24 pounds is my 10%. And then hopefully next week I can celebrate my 25 pound mark! How exciting would that be??

We started an 8 weeks until Thanksgiving challenge. I’m scared to make a weight goal because I don’t want to be disappointed. So I’m thinking of habits I can implement instead that will automatically help with the weight loss.

I’m thinking of having a goal of tracking for 8 weeks solid. It’s already my goal to track every day this week (as that’s the focus for week 1 anyways). And I lose when I track. So yeah.

I’d like to think of a new fitness goal too. Now that I don’t have to worry about 2 hours runs and sticking to a training schedule, I think it’ll be easier mentally for me to lace up 3 times a week. And I can do whatever I want now. 20 minutes or 5 miles. Fast or slow. I’m looking forward to that. And maybe a speed goal? I’ll have to set a bench mark to see where I need to grow from. I know I’m about a 14-14:30 min/mile. I can go faster, but its hard to sustain. So maybe start with running a mile at medium hard intensity. Which should be about 13 min for that mile. I ran the first 5 miles of my 10 mile race at 13 min miles. So it’s possible.

So 8 weeks- tracking, running 3 times a week, and cross training once a week. Whether its yoga or a work out DVD.

I hope with these changes I can see about an 8 pound loss. But as long as I lose anything, and not gain, I’ll consider it a win.

Ahh 1 week!! I kinda can’t wait. Even though its gonna be hard. Races are fun. And I bring my A game at least. And I got to practice my routine at the 10 mile race the other week. I’ll take some melatonin around 9pm, eat my breakfast around 6am (Taylor ham, egg, and cheese on a roll). Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! I’m thinking of leaving the water bottle behind because I had no issue getting beverages at the race. And just wearing something for my energy. Unfortunately those cliff blocks take up a lot of space. And I want my phone for GPS and music. Mom and Larry are gonna make it there at some point. I told them they don’t need to be there at the start. I’ll be running for 3 hours so they have time. Omg 3 hours. Phew. I hope I don’t walk the last 3 miles. Or get picked up and driven to the finish line. That’s my only time goal.

Surprises on the Scale

Published September 16, 2012 by Becca

I was quite surprised to see on the scale 225.6 when I weighed in Friday at Weight Watchers. It was a 5.2 pound loss from the previous week. My scale at home only said I was 227. So I like the other number better. I’m 1 pound away from my 10% goal! I’m very excited. And 2 pounds away from 25 pounds lost. So I’m hoping to lose 2 pounds. But we’ll see.

4 weeks ago I joined an online game pool to lose 4% of my weight in 4 weeks to get a shot at splitting the pot. It was $15 to get in. I did great my 1st week and petered out. Totally. The thought of winning money did not help sustain any weight loss efforts! Bummer! So I’m out $15. Oh well. It’s a neat idea. Maybe I’ll give it another shot sometime when I’m feeling more dedicated.

Emotional eating is still a severe struggle for me. Obvs. It’s only been a few months since I’ve started tackling the issue. It’s so hard to stay on track when I’m upset or stressed or tired. One weakness of mine is drinking soda at work when I’m tired. I sometimes feel like the sugar/caffeine works. Sometimes it doesn’t. There are some days though I’ve had 2 quarts of Sprite! Even 1 quart is too much. I got diet coke instead the other night but it wasn’t the same and I did not enjoy it. I should go back to drinking iced tea. That caffeine definitely helps.

I’ve only had a few mini-binges this summer. I don’t full out binge, which is good since I’m not doing too much caloric damage, but I have to stop walking that path and digging a rut. I gotta say though eating crap really does make me feel better after. I’m not one of those people that’s filled with shame and regret and I don’t binge to the point of being uncomfortable. So yeah, eating a sleeve of Oreos can make me feel better when I’m stressed or sad. Which makes the habit that much harder to break.

Getting down to it

Published September 14, 2012 by Becca

I basically haven’t lost any weight since July.  That’s $80 of WW’s fees down the drain.  :-/  BUT I also haven’t gained any of it back.  Because even though I haven’t been diligent about tracking and losing weight, I haven’t given up on trying to live a healthier life.  Which makes me think that this time is different.  That no matter how long this process takes me, it’s gonna stick.  The same way running has stayed a part of my life- however inconsistently in the first 6 months.

This past Sunday I ran a 10 mile race at the last minute up in the Bronx.  I’m really glad I did!  Both as a dress rehearsal for how to handle the half-marathon as far as what to wear, eat, drink, all that stuff, and also to check in that I still have some work to do in the next few weeks to keep building my strength and stamina.  The 10 miles were good, but I really don’t think I had another 3 in me.  So I have to really be diligent about my mid-week runs.  Which have actually been boring me a touch, so I’m making sure to make them interesting by doing some speed work, which will also hopefully help with speed.  I’d love to do the half-marathon in maybe a 13- min/mile?  I started out that pace for the 10 miler but I peetered out around mile 7. I think needed more calories. But also my legs were tired.  So far this week I did a repeat session.  I did 3 mins high intensity with a 2 min walk in between.  I only did about 3.5 so next week I’m aiming for 5.  And today I’m aiming for 4 miles Fartlek style.  I’m doing another long run Sunday and I’d like to do 10 miles again.  And the next 2 Sundays will be 6-7 miles to taper.

I’m back to going to my WW meetings.  Heading to one a little later (missed my favorite leader this morning though cause I slept too late 😦  But I also worked 10 days in a row, so yeah…).  I’m going to resume my tracking today.  I hate it, and it’s labor intensive (especially when I eat staff meal at work and I have no real idea what’s in it so I’m totally guessing), but counting points or calories is really the only way to lose weight. Everyone keeps saying it, and it’s true.  Because I stopped losing when I stopped counting.  Even though I remained mindful.

And I’m also getting some food because I have like NONE in the house and I ate a Fiber One brownie just to stop the rumbling in my stomach, but I’m definitely hitting up the grocery store for lunch and dinner and some staples.